Whoa, som...

Whoa, somebody just fell into a bad mood. Random.I can't decide what colour to paint my room. Green, blue, or yellow.

cross posted

I just came across this Bush quote, which I hadn't heard before and was, for some reason, stunned. You'd think I wouldn't be surprised by Bush's ignorance/stupidity anymore, but it still got me on this one."No, I don't know that atheists should be considered as citizens, nor should they be considered patriots. This is one nation under God." -- George Bush (August 27, 1987)

mo...

mom got out of bed today for more than 30 minutes, that's a plus.

mo...

mom got out of bed today for more than 30 minutes, that's a plus.

ok, ok, FI...

ok, ok, FINE, i'm going back to the homework.Philosophy-gulp. Lots of reading and lots of being fairly confused. And I should get a jumpstart on reading for Kids w/special needs class. I'm not sure which is my favourite, but I can tell you I won't get any daydreaming/writing done during either of those 2! Not gonna be an easy semester, but hey, it's all good.And oh shit, gotta finish that app. Fuck it, lets do that right now.FUCK. I lost my password so I've gotta do it all over.Ha nvm, I guessed my password. I'm just so awesome. So, I have to have a professor recc. From who will that be!?!? Hmm. And a letter from the dean-christ, i dont know who the dean is at cccc. and transcripts-that i can do-and descriptions of courses. that i can find.Ok. Gotta fill out some more. Adios.

*miraculous moment...

*miraculous moment* All 18 of our kids are currently happy, learning, and QUIET!!!!!!!!I'm in charge too. Ha. Count it.We're in the computerlab and they're all on this math game.

cupcak...

cupcakes are awesome.

it sucks w...

it sucks when you make plans with someone and then you call them only to find out that they *might* have to do something else and say they'll call you back, but they wait an hour and half until they call you back only to say they are busy.dammit and i wanted to go shopping today. i don't know, yeah it's wild out because it's friday after turkeyday but that's half the fun! getting all christmasy... i was looking forward to it! ah well, that's life right.my sister declared that she hates her family because we wont take her to new york on wednesday to see kelly clarkson at the nbc tree lighting thing. never mind the fact that she'd probably not meet her and be lucky to see her anyway... hell i'd go if i could, mariska & chris will be there too and god knows what i'd do to meet her! although i'd just like drool if i did and grin like a fool.speaking of which, i'm out of new episodes on season 1 :-( tear! saw them all! oh well. just have to hang in there till season 2 comes out. i've seen many of them too already..... well thats bound to happen right?know what i realised wait i think i typed it already that's enoughha i was reading online from sumar.nl and came across the school paper for september or october or something and found an article leonie wrote. klaas was caught by the cops riding his brommer (im not sure what the english word is) and they came to the house and he was fined!!! he's 13. ha that's so funny! he's been riding it since he was 10. i tried it, it was cool.so today i didn't do much, decorated te house for x-mas and didn't eat till the afternoon when i started feeling really dizzy and sick. that's always a bad sign!sunday we're going up to boston, that should be cool. i like boston. and i like shopping and i like christmastime in cities.except i always feel so fucking lonely at holidays. i think its all the hype & expectation that it should be a warm, fuzzy, happy time-and why should it? why is it going to make you feel any different than say, october? its destructive. hell, i still like it though. hope i guess? wow this weatherlady sucks, she's so freaking excited. calm down, chic. (chick? no that's a bird. must be chic.)oh wind advisory again count it! i wanna go sailing. ah man it's been TOO LONG since i've sailed .way too fucking long. well, come march then i'm on the h2o again. March...oh but man it could suck so hardcore, right. so i have the opportunity, i know mr k would so let me, sail with the HS team. but i mean, m and s are on the team... and a and s are always making out... it'll be weird. i dont know. i'll have to deal as it comes. but i could sail with tull maybe that would be hella fun... ha i said hella! anyway, we'll see. i think i will end up there just cuz a. its sailing b. i have no other chances to get on the water. damn whoever stole my boat. you suck. i want the sunfish BACK. bitchass mofo. santa gave it to me you meaniehead. santa wont like you.and it's been like 2/3 years already and i still want my boat back.yeah what the hell someone stole the canoe lauren and i found too. and we totally did find it abandonded. ha that was funny, it was leaking cuz of holes and we had to tow it behind the sunfish to get it home. then we went out in it-we called it the mannatee, so this mustve been 1996-in this tropical storm. the coast guard came over and watched us to make sure we got in cuz we were sinking! the holes/waves weren't a hot combo. it was fun shit. sinking-that's why you wear a life jacket!man, you should've seen that boat. absolute piece of shit. it was like army green and brown and aluminum and just the ugliest thing you could imagine. but it was great.sigh. haven't thought of those days in a LONGass time. man. we had some good times screwing around in our harbor, me and lauren. before she went harvard and i went international. outgrew each other. shrug.

map

Ok I think I figured this map thing out.If I post this, then you can click on it. So I'm posting it.poweredbybravenet.com

FrIeNdS oNlY (nonfriends not allowed!)

I've decided to go Friends-Only for a few different reasons. If you are curious to what random things I'm writing here, then you can comment here and I'll add you as a friend. It will be a little while before everything's turned Friends Only since I have to do it to each individual entry, but it'll happen. I'll leave a few random entries up just for the hell of it.If you don't know what friends-only is, it means you have to have a livejournal name and be on my friends list in order to view entries.Cait

lyrics that might mean something

Craig Bateman"Africa"This is a song for AfricaGod hear this prayer for AfricaToo much dyin, too much fearBefore you know it, time's gonna disappearWe play a prayer for AfricaGod Hear this prayer for AfricaAll our wealth, all their painRight next door, and a world awayWe sing a prayer for AfricaGod hear this prayer for AfricaToo many souls, slippin awayLet these hands, carry the weightWe sing a prayer for AfricaGod hear this prayer for AfricaToo many souls, slippin awayLet these hands, carry the weight.............................................................................from "Jacob's Ladder by chumbawumbaA million lifetimesLeft dying in the sunIn the streets down in WhitehallDog's picking at the bones9/11 got branded9/11 got soldThere'll be no-one left to waterAll the seeds you sowed Chorus On this Jacob's LadderThe only way up is downOne step from disasterTwo to make the higher groundJacob's Ladder ........................................................................from "Living In Between"Tony HanikAt the edge of the desertIn cold tenement roomsWading across the riverBy the light of the moonAt night when they go to sleepWithout enough to eatThey won't say a thingBut you'll hear them screamThey know what it is to needThey pay for our greedThey live in betweenThe nightmare and a dreamA world without evilA world without warWhere everyone's equalWe've all heard it beforeWe hunger for peace and lightWe seek them through power and mightSo we squander our meansOn absurd weapon schemesWe forget what it means to prayWe're breathing from day to dayWe live in betweenThe nightmare and a dreamWe live in betweenThe nightmare and the dream..........................................................................."beautiful occupation"travisDon't just stand there watching it happeningI can't stand itDon't feel itSomething's telling meDon't wanna go out this wayBut have a nice dayThen read it in the headlinesWatch it on the TVPut it in the backgroundStick it in the bagStick it in the bagFor the beautiful occupationThe beautiful occupationYou don't need an invitationTo drop in upon a nationI'm too cynicalI'm just sitting hereI'm just wasting my timeHalf a million civillians gonna die todayBut look the wrong wayThen read it in the headlinesWatch it on the TVPut it in the backgroundStick it in the bagStick it in the bagFor the beautiful occupationThe beautiful occupationYou don't need an invitationTo drop in upon a nationDon't just stand there watching it happeningI can't stand itDon't feel itSomething telling meDon't wanna go out this wayBut have a nice dayThen read it in the headlinesWatch it on the TVPut it in the backgroundStick in the bagStick in the bagFor the beautiful occupationThe beautiful occupationDon't need an invitationTo drop in upon a nationThe beautiful occupationThe beautiful occupationSo much for an interventionDon't call the united nations

the scent ...

the scent of apple pies is so amazing

major rant. long. serious. pissed. yay.

*****warning!! rant that will piss off non-liberals! and maybe some so called liberals*****i don't understand why people who support the military/right wing/war can't understand the simple fact that just because you don't like the war, doesnt mean you don't support soldiers. it's not that freaking complicated.we shouldn't be in iraq, its that simple. soldiers-american or ANY kind-shouldn't be dying in iraq, fighting for lies that a few right wing mindfuckers who run the country have somehow twisted the nation's scared and blind into believing.7/10 people in america believe saddam hussein had something to do with the war. that's so sick. there's no evidence. n-o. my kindergarteners can spell that. it can't be that complicated.i'm not saying 9/11 was good, but for christ's sake, big fucking deal. do you know how many thousands of people die on other countries daily? of starvation? that america the "hyperpower" could stop but no, we'll just give countries bombs and nukes and then later on, say oh no, look they have nukes and go slaughter more innocent babies.and on 9/11 i cried like everyone else (did i? i don't remember to be honest.Here is what I do remember.The guidance counselor came intold the teacherwho told the classand turned on CNN.around me the students went YES! free time!and sat in groups to swear and gossipwhile 2 of us and the teacherstared at the screennone of sure what it quite meantbut knowing something was changed.</b>So for everyone who thinks I didnt carewhere were youif you were in my math classi can tell you what you didwhat you thoughtwhat your first fucking reaction was-none-except no class!until you saw it meant somethinguntil you saw it matteredthat we we could use it as an excuse to go murder morethousands of innocentsbabies mothers fathers childrenbomb emand you were happyand then they talked of the draftand everyone was a little less enthusiastic about the warso they dropped that idea out of sightcause no one wants THEIR children to die.american children shouldn't die, they think-but when it's iraqicubanmexicanafricanafghanipalestinian-then it's just a consequence of "enduring freedom"we're torturing prisoners in guantanemo baywe're holding them FOREVER.and claiming its withing int'l court laws-which they dont even need to BOTHER to do since THE US DOESNT FOLLOW INTERNATIONAL LAW(god i'm getting pissed)we're mutilating the prisonerswho shouldn't be heldwe're picking up immigrantsand interrogating themthrowing them in cells for daysfor no reasonin afghanistan we're giving warlords powerand massacring, murdering, shooting prisonersand when they try to release the tape by the scottish reporter-people who were interviewed are slaughterednot that the us would care.we're killing the babies, the kidswhat happened to libya? what did we do, stop after the 10 soldiers we sent? libyawhere 12 year old rape victim girls are so angry and bitter and cold that they've turned into merciless soldierswhere a 5 year old can operate a gunor south africa-where we SUPPLIED NUCLEAR WEAPONS during the fucking APARTHEID regimeand as soon as it was turned over to mandela's partywe came out with the shocking news,'south africa has nukes! stop them!'and sent hans blix's lookalikesto destroy them.and bc south africa is REAL and because they are tryingthey got rid of the weapons.would america ever, ever get rid of weapons of mass destruction?nobecause everyone would be like, YES!! and finally blow this country up.and i'm not an america-haterits my fucking home tooso don't call me unpatriotic because i don't wavea scrap of cloth with stripes and starsmanufactured by some sweating immigrantswho will never prosperbecause the american dream is bullshitits just liesunless of courseyou want to lose your humanityand became a corporate bitchwith no feeling for humanswith no fuckin empathy for your own raceand lie and cheat and stealand starve and kill and cause despair,then the american dream can be yours.and on 9/11 the world never stopped turning.why would the world have stopped turning when 3000 diedinstead of when 5 million died burning in ovensshot by bulletsstarven to deathof typhusor when african diseases rot living people by the thousandor hundreds of thousand orphaned children scream in hunger before they diewhy would the world stop turning for 3000?because they're american?no.i don't think so.and israel, oh godi can't even follow israel because it's so fucked upthat it might just be impossible for a mind to acceptand how the israelis are now hunting arafatthey just give the signal, kill this manno reasonand nobody cares????????i swear we're doomed sometimesand call me a hypocrite and laugh and be happythat i couldnt survive africaand point out that i'm spouting all theseliberal ideas of equalityyet where am I?yes i'm in the comfort of my owngoddamn american home.and no i wouldnt stay in africai wouldnt live among themi talked the talk but couldnt live the lifebut when you think this of me or of anyone who didn't staythink where are you.have you even tried.think of the babiesand i wish i could helpbut that means i'd have to be thereand i just couldnt stay.so i'll let it eat me up inside, don't worry,so shut your mouthdont talk to me about my failure thereand point out i didn't know anyone in 9/11that the closest to me was the angells, the neighboursand say i'm insensitiveinhumanenot thoughtfulthink of the weeping widowsfatherless childwell, think of the orphaned aids babythink of the mothers with 8 starving childrenthink of families living in mortal fearof american bombsits not that differentexcept one happened on 9/11/01and one happens every single day.self evident(inspired by the WTC disaster)ani difrancoyes, us people are just poems we're 90% metaphor with a leanness of meaning approaching hyper-distillation and once upon a time we were moonshine rushing down the throat of a giraffe yes, rushing down the long hallway despite what the p.a. announcement says yes, rushing down the long stairs with the whiskey of eternity fermented and distilled to eighteen minutes burning down our throats down the hall down the stairs in a building so tall that it will always be there yes, it's part of a pair there on the bow of noah's ark the most prestigious couple just kickin back parked against a perfectly blue sky on a morning beatific in its indian summer breeze on the day that america fell to its knees after strutting around for a century without saying thank you or please and the shock was subsonic and the smoke was deafening between the setup and the punch line cuz we were all on time for work that day we all boarded that plane for to fly and then while the fires were raging we all climbed up on the windowsill and then we all held hands and jumped into the sky and every borough looked up when it heard the first blast and then every dumb action movie was summarily surpassed and the exodus uptown by foot and motorcar looked more like war than anything i've seen so far so far so far so fierce and ingenious a poetic specter so far gone that every jackass newscaster was struck dumb and stumbling over 'oh my god' and 'this is unbelievable' and on and on and i'll tell you what, while we're at it you can keep the pentagon keep the propaganda keep each and every tv that's been trying to convince me to participate in some prep school punk's plan to perpetuate retribution perpetuate retribution even as the blue toxic smoke of our lesson in retribution is still hanging in the air and there's ash on our shoes and there's ash in our hair and there's a fine silt on every mantle from hell's kitchen to brooklyn and the streets are full of stories sudden twists and near misses and soon every open bar is crammed to the rafters with tales of narrowly averted disasters and the whiskey is flowin like never before as all over the country folks just shake their heads and pour so here's a toast to all the folks who live in palestine afghanistan iraq el salvador here's a toast to the folks living on the pine ridge reservation under the stone cold gaze of mt. rushmore here's a toast to all those nurses and doctors who daily provide women with a choice who stand down a threat the size of oklahoma city just to listen to a young woman's voice here's a toast to all the folks on death row right now awaiting the executioner's guillotine who are shackled there with dread and can only escape into their heads to find peace in the form of a dream cuz take away our playstations and we are a third world nation under the thumb of some blue blood royal son who stole the oval office and that phony election i mean it don't take a weatherman to look around and see the weather jeb said he'd deliver florida, folks and boy did he ever and we hold these truths to be self evident: #1 george w. bush is not president #2 america is not a true democracy #3 the media is not fooling me cuz i am a poem heeding hyper-distillation i've got no room for a lie so verbose i'm looking out over my whole human family and i'm raising my glass in a toast here's to our last drink of fossil fuels let us vow to get off of this sauce shoo away the swarms of commuter planes and find that train ticket we lost cuz once upon a time the line followed the river and peeked into all the backyards and the laundry was waving the graffiti was teasing us from brick walls and bridges we were rolling over ridges through valleys under stars i dream of touring like duke ellington in my own railroad car i dream of waiting on the tall blonde wooden benches in a grand station aglow with grace and then standing out on the platform and feeling the air on my face give back the night its distant whistle give the darkness back its soul give the big oil companies the finger finally and relearn how to rock-n-roll yes, the lessons are all around us and a change is waiting there so it's time to pick through the rubble, clean the streets and clear the air get our government to pull its big dick out of the sand of someone else's desert put it back in its pants and quit the hypocritical chants of freedom forever cuz when one lone phone rang in two thousand and one at ten after nine on nine one one which is the number we all called when that lone phone rang right off the wall right off our desk and down the long hall down the long stairs in a building so tall that the whole world turned just to watch it fall and while we're at it remember the first time around? the bomb? the ryder truck? the parking garage? the princess that didn't even feel the pea? remember joking around in our apartment on avenue D? can you imagine how many paper coffee cups would have to change their design following a fantastical reversal of the new york skyline?! it was a joke, of course it was a joke at the time and that was just a few years ago so let the record show that the FBI was all over that case that the plot was obvious and in everybody's face and scoping that scene religiously the CIA or is it KGB? committing countless crimes against humanity with this kind of eventuality as its excuse for abuse after expensive abuse and it didn't have a clue look, another window to see through way up here on the 104th floor look another key another door 10% literal 90% metaphor 3000 some poems disguised as people on an almost too perfect day should be more than pawns in some asshole's passion play so now it's your job and it's my job to make it that way to make sure they didn't die in vain sshhhhhh.... baby listen hear the train? that's all for today folks.

Sometimes I play with Photoshop. Some people & places I've gotten brushes from:wheretheicons__ xnoangelx katebug48my_wonderfulinnocenceagain_jonimiggylittlekfrueldtrichlovetragic_iconspropaganda_live jeweledicecream touketsu_omoide crushedviolet daughterofsnapecrumblingwalls meleadahttp://truly-sarah.com http://hybrid-genesis.com http://itsuji.net/brushes